worth dying for

Something worth dying for must be really important.

Is there at least one thing for which you would die? Or perhaps a person for whom you would sacrifice your life? I imagine that many times, when people die for something or someone, it’s an impulsive decision, something that unexpectedly occurs. Like if a thief appears and shoots at some children, and someone impulsively jumps in front of them before the thief shoots.

To me, sacrifice to this extent mandates something that I have trouble putting into words. It really makes me wonder.

People die every day for all kinds of things, and I remain uncertain about what I could really shed blood for. I don’t even donate blood because I think I’ll pass out.

I wonder about the people who choose to die for something other than themselves and what deep convictions they must have, and how part of me really wants that. I can admit my reservations are several, and yet, part of me wants to live a life that is so full of purpose and meaning, such that if my life was asked for me, I could give it up knowing that such a sacrifice would be worth it.

For some reason, I really like the sound of that life. Perhaps that is a lot for others to consider—I think that way though sometimes. I figure I want to make the most out of this one life I get to live, and I wonder about how I’ll actually make sure I’m doing it.

Now, when I started down this path of living my life such that I would be willing to die for somebody or something, naturally I thought about Jesus. There is the whole thing about me following Him and Him dying for the world; it just makes sense to me especially since I can’t think of anyone else as willing as He was to give it all up just for me.

This led me to think again about my increasing devotions to him and how He died for the world, for all kinds of people and things. My logic is this: maybe I should consider everyone as worth dying for if Jesus died for them and I say I follow Him like I do.

I don’t even know how to wrap my head around this level of sacrifice. Again, maybe I’m just doing a lot. I’m just being completely honest about this thing. I can at least consider my family and friends, the people who have my deepest caring and loyalty. And truthfully, I think I could consider taking a bullet for some of them, actually feeling some kind of legitimate pain on their behalf.

Keeping it extra real though, I have my hesitations there too because I’m in relationship with them, and I want reciprocity. I would feel way more comfortable about nominating folks for whom I’d die if I knew they would do the same for me.

I don’t know what to do with this tension between self-preserving and self-sacrificing, but the tension is real. I do remain open to living this deep and meaningful life, which means living wholeheartedly and loving courageously, believing in the value of people more so than the fears associated with cynicism and uncertainty of people.

I imagine that I can sacrifice in other ways, but this thing has me wondering a lot more about what I need to do to get over myself and adjust where I place my loyalties so I can live ready and willing to die.

It is an enigma to me, but I feel like wondering this way stretches me out of complacency and towards the purpose and meaning that I want. I honestly don’t have all of the answers on this one; I just trust that God will still keep me around while I figure things out. My faith in Him allows for unanswered questions and random wonderings like this one.

Lord have Your way.

Love Love Love,

Jesse

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One thought on “worth dying for

  1. Pingback: power is always at play | SUCH IS LIFE.

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