ending this blog

I’m ending this blog.

When I started it, I felt unheard and misunderstood, and those feelings were heavy burdens I carried. After plenty of encouragement to write more, I hoped that “Such Is Life” would give me a platform to unburden myself, to say what I needed to say, and to make more public sense of my private experiences. I figured I had the scoop and just needed to let folks in on it.

Now, three years have passed, and I am embracing the notion that I’ve said enough for now, and there are two guiding thoughts that lead me to step away. Continue reading


what i really want

I know what I really want.

It’s taken me some time, but I have known for a while now but have been unsure of how to articulate it and doubtful that others would understand, empathize, agree, etc. In the past, I have done a great job of writing in circles; hopefully, this is clear and straight to the point. Continue reading

one more revelation

I have one more revelation to share about why I am deliberately not identifying as heterosexual.

Right now, I want to focus specifically on the value Christians place on being heterosexual because that continues to be a major game changer that is impacting countless numbers of people.

It’s needless to describe on so many obvious grounds, but I’m explaining it so that I can be clear when I renounce it. Continue reading

the typical guy

I often find myself saying I’m not the typical “guy’s guy” and that could mean a lot of things. It’s probably more accurate and less confusing to just say this: I’m not the typical guy.

I shared this once before when explaining how wrong people can be when it comes to misunderstanding me. I also shared before that I do not identify myself based on my sexual attractions, interests, behaviors, etc.; I would not say that I am heterosexual, homosexual, or any of those labels.

I mention these two together because I think gender plays a major role in how people understand who people are, particularly when it comes to people’s perceptions and concepts of sexuality. This has definitely persisted as a reality for me; gender has impacted how I’m understood from my beginning. Continue reading

hard conversations

I care enough to have the hard conversations.

I’ve been having several lately as a part of my quarter-life crisis, and it has me feeling incredibly vulnerable. It’s a bit paradoxical that I’m having such difficult dialogue both because and in spite of the vulnerability.

I love it because I want to be known more completely, to put my heart out there for people to see who I really am; vulnerability. I hate it because I run the risks of being misunderstood, criticized, avoided, silenced, rejected, etc.; vulnerability. Continue reading

worth dying for

Something worth dying for must be really important.

Is there at least one thing for which you would die? Or perhaps a person for whom you would sacrifice your life? I imagine that many times, when people die for something or someone, it’s an impulsive decision, something that unexpectedly occurs. Like if a thief appears and shoots at some children, and someone impulsively jumps in front of them before the thief shoots.

To me, sacrifice to this extent mandates something that I have trouble putting into words. It really makes me wonder.

People die every day for all kinds of things, and I remain uncertain about what I could really shed blood for. I don’t even donate blood because I think I’ll pass out. Continue reading

a sense of belonging

I love having a sense of belonging.

Belonging to someone and/or something that is bigger than I am, separate from who I am is something without which I cannot live. And I mean LIVE.

I need to belong, to possess and maintain this profound feeling that I have worth and that I am genuinely connected to people, places, and things apart from myself. Having that sense has given me a sufficient portion of security, peace, and purpose. Continue reading

not so easy to love

Sometimes, it is not so easy to love.

I’m sticking with this topic of loving people– it’s something I think about often, so I’m sure this won’t be the last post on the matter. Last time, I encouraged you to make someone’s day, giving extra credit to those who give without merit, expecting nothing back.

This kind of giving sounds nice in theory, but it can be a lot harder to put this giving into practice. And if you sit down and think about it, loving this way may not even make sense. Continue reading

people loving people

Let’s talk about people loving people.

I’m not trying to get all sappy and romantic, nor am I trying to be controversial or progressive, so don’t go to any of those places. That’s not where I am trying to go today. Today, I’m talking about love in a very basic, fundamental way.

I think it is significant for people to show love to other people. It actually means a lot to me, and in many ways, it has impacted how I see myself. I am certain that I am not the only one who feels this way. Continue reading