ending this blog

I’m ending this blog.

When I started it, I felt unheard and misunderstood, and those feelings were heavy burdens I carried. After plenty of encouragement to write more, I hoped that “Such Is Life” would give me a platform to unburden myself, to say what I needed to say, and to make more public sense of my private experiences. I figured I had the scoop and just needed to let folks in on it.

Now, three years have passed, and I am embracing the notion that I’ve said enough for now, and there are two guiding thoughts that lead me to step away. Continue reading

please forgive me

Please forgive me.

I haven’t known what to say here for a while now, so I figured I’d start with those words because this is the kind of thing you say when you realize that you’ve done the wrong thing.

Initially, I thought that so much needed to be said about what’s been happening, so much that I just didn’t know where to begin. I quickly realized though that I am easily overwhelmed by the constant supply of social media bombardment that is the sum total of friends and followers sharing their opinions and feelings about what’s happening. I have frequently tapped out from it all in order to manage my own care and focus, and I just allowed myself to embrace silence, to feel numb, to just be as I am in the moment. Continue reading

having sex

Since I’ve stopped waiting until marriage, I’m learning more about (not) having sex.

My previous post on this topic yearned for a renewed perspective on sex, one that could be tested and pass. For me, this has meant unlearning and relearning how to approach celibacy beyond mere abstinence from sex outside marriage.

To do this with greater maturity, honesty, and integrity, I’m focusing on living my life as the person God created me to be. Here’s some of what I’ve been learning. Continue reading

i choose you

“I choose you.”

Those words left my mouth as I drove home, having left behind me another opportunity to compromise my relationship with God. This particular opportunity involved sex with someone who is becoming increasing special and significant to me; the temptation to take something for my own pleasure and fulfillment is REAL.

Let me back up though because this post is less about the whole “waiting until marriage” thing and more about making significant choices. Continue reading

even when you are different

“Even when you are different… Jesus loves you.”

That was one of the special messages this past week at my church’s Vacation Bible School, and I immediately thought about my experiences with gender and sexuality in this life I’m living. I couldn’t help but agree that I’m a bit different.

There are several words that I could use in place of “different.” It’s a nice reminder and encouragement to know that regardless of the chosen word, the statement is still accurate. Jesus still loves no matter what. Continue reading

waiting until marriage

I’m not waiting until marriage anymore.

To be clear, I specifically mean that I am not abstaining from sex on the rationale that I should wait until I am married. I don’t disagree with this nor do I intend to start having sex with the next person that shows me some interest, and I’m not thinking less of sex—I actually think about sex a lot and regard it very highly.

I can promise though that my reasons for not having sex from here on out are going to have less to do with this whole waiting thing. That logic just isn’t working anymore.

What I need is a renewed perspective about sex, one that can be tested and pass. Continue reading

what i really want

I know what I really want.

It’s taken me some time, but I have known for a while now but have been unsure of how to articulate it and doubtful that others would understand, empathize, agree, etc. In the past, I have done a great job of writing in circles; hopefully, this is clear and straight to the point. Continue reading

one more revelation

I have one more revelation to share about why I am deliberately not identifying as heterosexual.

Right now, I want to focus specifically on the value Christians place on being heterosexual because that continues to be a major game changer that is impacting countless numbers of people.

It’s needless to describe on so many obvious grounds, but I’m explaining it so that I can be clear when I renounce it. Continue reading

the typical guy

I often find myself saying I’m not the typical “guy’s guy” and that could mean a lot of things. It’s probably more accurate and less confusing to just say this: I’m not the typical guy.

I shared this once before when explaining how wrong people can be when it comes to misunderstanding me. I also shared before that I do not identify myself based on my sexual attractions, interests, behaviors, etc.; I would not say that I am heterosexual, homosexual, or any of those labels.

I mention these two together because I think gender plays a major role in how people understand who people are, particularly when it comes to people’s perceptions and concepts of sexuality. This has definitely persisted as a reality for me; gender has impacted how I’m understood from my beginning. Continue reading

love and holiness

I think that love and holiness have to go together.

I believe that either one apart from the other is far less than the two united together.

If I were to reframe the thought that love and holiness have to go together, I would say that I think there has to be a space where we care about people and where we live according to a standard. Continue reading